Everybody makes mistakes, right? Like most people message their ex at 2 a.m., some people hang the toilet paper the wrong way, and others put their beans under their rice. My mistake? I read comments on Facebook. Not the fun comments your grandparents leave you, no\u2026 The comments on random videos about vaccination and conspiracy theories. Sometimes, I comment back but usually I just sit there contemplating how in the universe that person got to that conclusion. Not in a judgmental way, just on a pure level of the concept being completely foreign to me. I heard something Tabitha Brown said (if you don\u2019t know her, please go check her out): that if you have prescription glasses and you just give them to someone, they won\u2019t be able to see very well, if at all. We can\u2019t force someone to see through our eyes \u2013 but we can paint them the picture, so allow me to try.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of the comments I find myself frustrated the most is over immigration. No brainer, I know. The thing is that a lot of people just do not understand what it takes to \u201cdo immigration right\u201d. (yes, I am aware that everything I write is controversial, please excuse me as I am a bored Gemini). Back to topic: if you didn\u2019t know yet, I am an immigrant. I hold a resident visa, also called a Green Card, granted to me based on family reunion since I\u2019m married to an American Citizen. It sounds pretty simple, doesn\u2019t it? I worked, pay my taxes, fell in love, got married and now I\u2019m good. Well, I wish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was pretty young when I got married, but I also went to law school for two years and like to consider myself of above average intelligence and pretty fluent in English, but the regulations and forms that we had to fill were complicated, long and seemingly redundant. We made mistakes like not signing one of the 30 different lines and had the whole process delayed a couple of months. There were hefty few hundred dollars fee each step of the way, which amounted to a couple thousand dollars give or take in processing fees alone. We submitted several copies of my passport, previous visas, forms, background check, marriage license and every single address I have ever lived and job I ever had for the previous 5 years, but there was no number to call, no email to write and no answer for months. If we had questions, we had to try our best to Google. A lawyer would be appreciated, but the cost would pay a down payment in a nice house, and they don\u2019t have access to much more information than we do, plus with all the foreign names and addresses they\u2019re more likely to make mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I haven\u2019t even talked about 3 separate trips to 3 different states in Brazil, the complete down-to-my-undies medical exam in a shady and weird doctor office, or the fear of forgetting my husbands birthday in the interview and having my visa denied. During the whole green card process, I couldn\u2019t legally work in the US and would have to start another complicated process to leave the country. That meant that if we had applied for the visa while living in the USA I\u2019d be unable to make any money or see my family again until it was all over, and the process for a spouse of a citizen can take anywhere from 6 months to 2+ years (up to 12 if it\u2019s a family member other than your spouse!). So we went down to Brazil, got Chase\u2019s resident visa and managed to both work. But, in the ENTIRE country (as a reference we can fit Texas 12.5 times inside Brazil), there\u2019s only 2 places you can collect fingerprints, 3 doctors doing the exams and 1 place for the interview. All of these trips (because of course none of them were in my state) are mostly out of your control and each one of them has extra fees outside of the main ones you pay to the government. It\u2019s terrifying, because one small mistake spelling a name can be what delays you another set of months \u2013 or worse yet closes your case. Let me tell you, the honeymoon phase ends pretty fast when you\u2019re up all night wondering if it\u2019s ever going to end and if it\u2019s even worth it.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n I can hear your thoughts \u201cwell, we can\u2019t let just anyone in! You chose to be in America and get married so quit your bitchin\u2019!\u201d. Yes, I hear you. Honestly, you\u2019re not wrong. I technically did have the choice to be here and to choose my husband and to go through all of this. But not everyone does. Having a visa, being a documented immigrant \u2013 it\u2019s a matter of life and death for a lot of people. And I am not being dramatic. Look around you, all your belongings, family, friends, language, favorite snacks, knick knacks. Imagine being in a situation of so much conflict (economical, political, religious, or else) that you leave it all behind. I\u2019ll say it again \u2013 leave it behind. Let\u2019s assume for a moment that you could bring your family with you, which definitely isn\u2019t a guarantee. Could you leave behind your favorite blanket? Could you leave behind that one mug your child made you in elementary school that\u2019s kind of ugly but in a lovely special way to you? How about Chex Mix or your favorite pizza? When you become an immigrant, you can bring two suitcases and a backpack. Can you choose what\u2019s worth taking? Giving up your sense of security is scary and hurtful, and the immigration process takes all of the humanity away from you and leaves you as nothing but a number, a case, and a potential threat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m not saying we have to go ahead and get rid of all of the immigration rules, I am just asking you to think about what you mean when you say \u201clet\u2019s build a wall\u201d and \u201clet them do it the right way\u201d. My mom is a great, amazing, awesome chef. She can make the best Italian food you ever had and bake gorgeous desserts. I don\u2019t know when I\u2019ll be able to see her again and I miss her very much. I could apply for her green card based on the family reunion, but that could take over 12 years and cost up several thousand dollars. I\u2019m unable do it the \u201cright way\u201d, so I won\u2019t have my mom here with me. When we build walls around us, we\u2019re focusing on what we don\u2019t want in, but we forget to look into the amazing things we\u2019re keeping out<\/strong>. It\u2019s a difficult subject, I understand. But I promise you that if you look at the picture that I am painting you\u2019ll see what I see: America being a beautiful, colorful, amazing country with space and individuality for all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n