This is my first post, and to say I\u2019ve been overwhelmed with trying to decide where and how to begin is an extreme understatement. I\u2019d like to invite you to comment, ask questions, and delve deeper with me should anything you read here hit home with you. We grow through discussion with and consideration of others\u2019 points of view. Thanks for stopping by!
I know this place is intended to be positive, uplifting and supportive. These things are crucial to our daily lives. But sometimes, in order to find the positive, we have to face the negative, the ugly, the painful – and even make choices that would seem to fall in those categories. Inner peace is so, so important, yet far easier said than done. And if, by chance, you are like me and struggle with depression and\/or anxiety, you know the lengths it sometimes takes to find, and how hard it is to hold on to.
\u201cThe soul would have no rainbow, if the eyes had no tears.\u201d \u2013 Native American Proverb (and also my next tattoo)
I could ramble for days about just the past six months of my life \u2013 the roller coaster of changes and transitions and surprises and consistent interruption of every single solid thought resembling a plan for literally anything. Many of these experiences I do plan to share, because there are so many important things I have learned, and so much more I need to, about some of the most challenging and controversial things in life we can be faced with. But here, now, I want to talk about the downright dirty process of choosing to move on from friendships and relationships that no longer\u2026 Belong? It\u2019s hard to choose the right word \u2013 but you know the ones. The \u201cenergy vampires\u201d, the \u201ctakers\u201d, the so-called friends, and even family, that take and never give or only exist as it suits their own personal needs. For me, this process is like laundry and dishes as a mom to 4 kids \u2013 never-ending and loathsome. I rarely enjoy feeling caught up. It\u2019s a constant nagging \u2013 what do I need to do about so-and-so. Should I call them? Call them out? Should I just sit back and let things go? Am I seeing the big picture? Can I trust my feelings (have I been taking my meds, sleeping, eating, all-the-things-ing that can quickly derail my perspective)? Have I thought about this enough, or too much?
News-flash \u2013 I am my own worst energy vampire. But I am allowed. Because nobody can make these choices for me, and nobody has to live my internal dialog but me. It is the same for you. Take the time you need. Process everything, or nothing! Trust your gut. Don\u2019t decide until you\u2019re certain. And if you change your mind, that is okay too! As I keep reminding myself that I don\u2019t owe anyone any explanation for ANYTHING I choose \u2013 I realize so many of the people I know and love need to be reminded of the exact same thing. YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO JUSTIFY CHOICES YOU MAKE FOR THE GOOD OF YOURSELF. Period. Yes, we have to consider our families, kids, responsibilities \u2013 but we also are the ones who deal with the outcomes. It is okay. It doesn\u2019t matter what others think, or want.
It is so, so important to CHOOSE to choose you. Read that again. Those who truly care for you won\u2019t mind, and those who mind may truly care \u2013 but they don\u2019t have to agree. Live your best life \u2013 it\u2019s the only one you get!
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