I\u2019ve been reflecting on where I am in this life\u2026not just physically where I am, but emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, all of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I sit here today in my new home, watching the gentle rain fall, I am truly blessed. Don\u2019t get me wrong, everything isn\u2019t rainbows and butterflies! I miss my Mom more than I can express. I\u2019d give anything for her to be here and healthy. Though I\u2019d never be selfish enough to ask for her return as she was physically when she left. I love her enough to not do that. Same for all my family that have gone before me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The grief aside, I am truly blessed. I\u2019m living things I prayed for. I\u2019ve sat with that today, thinking about all those prayers. Some were unanswered\u2026or probably more correctly, they weren\u2019t answered in the way I wanted them. Those prayers most likely saved me from myself. For that I am grateful!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know some are probably thinking that this is all about the new house. It isn\u2019t. It\u2019s about having my days free to do things that make my heart happy, like stacking wood. It\u2019s about Poppa being .10 of a mile through the woods. It\u2019s about peace in my soul. It\u2019s about a new adventure. It\u2019s about the journey back to myself. It\u2019s about not feeling guilty about spending the afternoon reading on the deck. It\u2019s about leaving the nightmare years behind. It\u2019s about healing.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Healing. It\u2019s a journey. I\u2019m almost 14 years removed from my living nightmare and I am still healing. I\u2019ve healed in some areas. But I\u2019m still working on other areas. Simply being out of that situation and being alive while out of it, is an answered prayer!
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the last almost 14 years, my life has completely changed! Mostly for the better\u2026minus the grief part. I no longer live in fear for my life or the lives of those I love. I am no longer afraid of what I will find when I get home. I am no longer required to keep a notebook listing every single dollar I spend\u2026of my own money\u2026our finances were kept separate. I am no longer required to provide health insurance for my spouse and his child. I am no longer required to babysit his child and\/or his unstable Mother. I\u2019m no longer required to do anything that I don\u2019t want to do!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am living the life I prayed for!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you are praying for a different life, don\u2019t stop praying (great song, btw)! A completely different life could just be one prayer away! I\u2019m living proof!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Peace and blessings to you and yours!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
lp<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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