Where do I begin?
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Let\u2019s start with a question most of us ask all the time\u2026How are you? It seems easy enough, but for those of us in the midst of a grief journey, that\u2019s a loaded question. You see most of you asking the question really don\u2019t want our honest answer. You want the typical response of, \u201cI\u2019m fine.\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m OK.\u201d The truth is, we as grievers are not fine and we are not ok, especially this time of year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I did a little experiment to see how people would respond if I told the actual truth. Not surprisingly the askers didn\u2019t really want to hear that I\u2019m a hot mess or that I\u2019m struggling with the holidays. They were uncomfortable with my honest answer. Let me say, I am so very thankful for my circle of friends who let me cry and support me without judgement. Some of them have been in my position and some of them have not. Either way, they truly want to know how I am and they do not recoil when I give them my honest answer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ve thought about this for a while now. As a griever, I\u2019ve decided I\u2019m not going to sugarcoat my feelings to make anyone else comfortable. It should be the norm to actually listen to the response and to show some empathy, kindness and compassion. But, it isn\u2019t. We as a society need to take a long look at ourselves and make some adjustments. I know I\u2019ve been guilty of this in the past. For that, I\u2019m incredibly sorry.
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It\u2019s especially difficult during the holidays. Those of us who are experiencing our firsts without our loved ones, are hurting. While we don\u2019t want to rob you of your holiday cheer, we want you to be aware that we are missing an important piece of our lives for the first time (or maybe the 50th). We are trying to go on with life, but it\u2019s so very difficult.
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I guess what I\u2019m trying to say is this\u2026if you truly don\u2019t want to hear the honest answer, please don\u2019t ask. I\u2019m sorry if my grief makes you uncomfortable. I\u2019m the one trying to navigate this grief journey. I ask that you come alongside me for support.
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So, how are you? Please respond in the comments. I\u2019d really like to know how YOU are!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Peace and Blessings to you and yours!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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