Conquering Fear and Embracing Courage

Recently I have had an unexplained peace. This is not my normal. Never has been…and I thought it never would be, especially after Mom’s unexpected expected death 14.5 months ago.

I believe I’m getting this new found peace and courage from above. Let me explain. Since Mom died, I’ve hoped she would come to me in my dreams…especially in the very early days of my grief journey. She didn’t. My Daddy did. But not Mom…that is until the wee hours of my 59th birthday.

That morning, I didn’t see her in my dreams, but I heard her voice. Of course she started with the words she had said to me 57 times before on my birthday…”Happy birthday! It’s Lori Day!”

Mom told me how proud she was of me in moving forward even though I had struggled with it! She told me that I am the one to carry on her legacy and it is completely up to me what I do with that! Mom reminded me of the long line of strong women we come from. She reminded me of how we had done hard things before and we came out wiser. Mom reminded me that no matter what, she was watching over me…and when I smell her…she’s near!

I tried to ask her questions, but she didn’t have the time for that…she had her own agenda and stuck to it! She did tell me that she can see me, but only when I am happy and at peace because in heaven there is no sorrow or tears. She told me about the singing and worshipping up there. She told me that when she passed my Daddy, my Gran and Grandpa, and my Aunt Peg came to get her. She told me that her cousin Norma Gail, my Dad’s parents, my Uncle Jack and Uncle John met her at the gate to Heaven. Mom also told me who came to bring her cousin, Susan to Heaven. It was both of her parents and her son, David. Mom and Norma Gail met her at the gate.

I don’t remember how it ended other than she said she loved me and to keep going forward with courage and spizarinktum…that’s a family thing.

When I woke up I had tears in my eyes and on my pillow. Who knew you could cry in your sleep!?!

Some of you will say it was just a dream…I choose to believe it was a gift! So, I am going to use this gift to help me as I move forward. Will I have fear? Absolutely! That’s just a part of who I am! Will I conquer that fear with courage and spizarinktum? Absolutely! I have a legacy to carry on!

Thanks, Mom! You always knew exactly what I needed to hear and when I needed to hear it!

Peace to you and yours!

lp