Color.

I watch the sunset every night. My neighbor asked me why once, as if it was equivalent to watching the same movie over and over. I tried to tell him how it changes every night, every second, every minute. He shrugged and said it looks the same to him. I knew it was because he couldn’t be bothered to look and it made me sad for him. Tonight, it made me think of people who often say they ‘don’t see color’ when it comes to other humans, but teach their kids that girls can only like pink and boys can only like blue, as if colors are masculine or feminine. If a toddler or kindergartener gets a color wrong, they are quickly corrected in a red pen voice. They set these weird societal and gender constructs from birth that I’ve spent years trying to drill out of my children’s heads, and out of my own because it’s so ingrained in there. If we can teach kids (and each other) what to do with the colors we see and not demand where to place them in little boxes, maybe we would stop being so appalled by difference. Black people exist, they are punished just for being black. Murdered even, they ask us to stop killing them and we say, “But…” then we instruct them how to properly feel oppressed, from a lens of privilege. Gay people exist, are punished for being gay. Killed even. If they aren’t murdered, they are walked to the edge by the same Pastor who invited them to ‘find God’ because he cares about their soul, then made fun of them on the internet. I have personal experience with that second one. But my skin is not black, so I’ll listen more than I talk about their experience. This is Reese, tonight in front of the sunset. I don’t have to teach him how to protect himself the same way the mother of a person of color does. He stood in front of me, named all of the colors in the sky tonight as he’s done since he was a tiny boy, because he couldn’t believe how it changes so quickly then turns to black. Black is when you can see the stars.

6 Replies to “Color.”

  1. I just love that you write with your heart, it’s full on, out there, and that is a wondrous thing.
    I also love how you take the colors of the sunset, and take it to people of color, gender, and how we see as individuals/as a society.
    Side note – I too feel sad for your neighbor not being able to see the sunset for what it is, a unique experience for that one night only. Thank you for reminding the readers of your works of that.
    LYS!

  2. Kara. You are THAT human. The one that will make this world a better place. I promise. Someone will listen. Someone will think twice. Someone will be better. All because of you. For this, I am so grateful. You’re also making sure the little humans will make this world a better place. Our future is hopeful, because you and the three R’s are in it. Thank you. LYS

  3. Yes, every second of the sunset is unique, never to be repeated in exactly the same way. Like humans. Just before I read this, my daughter Dawn, came up to me and showed me some photos she had taken of the sunset tonight, and proceeded to describe all the different colors in it to me. She is tetrachromatic, so she sees all the nuances. Then I read your post. Synchronicity.

  4. you are one of my sunset buddies – I love that we are almost always watching it together from our own perspectives. I also love to watch how it constantly changes in shape and color almost imperceptibly before us. I love how you provide the support, the space and the opportunities for your kids to truly find themselves and who they want to be. (they don’t have to change who they are because of a “red pen voice” that would guide them to be someone they aren’t)- LOVE YOU STRONG!

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