A Place to Begin
This is my first post, and to say I’ve been overwhelmed with trying to decide where and how to begin is an extreme understatement. I’d like to invite you to comment, ask questions, and delve deeper with me should anything you read here hit home with you. We grow through discussion with and consideration of others’ points of view. Thanks for stopping by!
I know this place is intended to be positive, uplifting and supportive. These things are crucial to our daily lives. But sometimes, in order to find the positive, we have to face the negative, the ugly, the painful – and even make choices that would seem to fall in those categories. Inner peace is so, so important, yet far easier said than done. And if, by chance, you are like me and struggle with depression and/or anxiety, you know the lengths it sometimes takes to find, and how hard it is to hold on to.
“The soul would have no rainbow, if the eyes had no tears.” – Native American Proverb (and also my next tattoo)
I could ramble for days about just the past six months of my life – the roller coaster of changes and transitions and surprises and consistent interruption of every single solid thought resembling a plan for literally anything. Many of these experiences I do plan to share, because there are so many important things I have learned, and so much more I need to, about some of the most challenging and controversial things in life we can be faced with. But here, now, I want to talk about the downright dirty process of choosing to move on from friendships and relationships that no longer… Belong? It’s hard to choose the right word – but you know the ones. The “energy vampires”, the “takers”, the so-called friends, and even family, that take and never give or only exist as it suits their own personal needs. For me, this process is like laundry and dishes as a mom to 4 kids – never-ending and loathsome. I rarely enjoy feeling caught up. It’s a constant nagging – what do I need to do about so-and-so. Should I call them? Call them out? Should I just sit back and let things go? Am I seeing the big picture? Can I trust my feelings (have I been taking my meds, sleeping, eating, all-the-things-ing that can quickly derail my perspective)? Have I thought about this enough, or too much?
News-flash – I am my own worst energy vampire. But I am allowed. Because nobody can make these choices for me, and nobody has to live my internal dialog but me. It is the same for you. Take the time you need. Process everything, or nothing! Trust your gut. Don’t decide until you’re certain. And if you change your mind, that is okay too! As I keep reminding myself that I don’t owe anyone any explanation for ANYTHING I choose – I realize so many of the people I know and love need to be reminded of the exact same thing. YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO JUSTIFY CHOICES YOU MAKE FOR THE GOOD OF YOURSELF. Period. Yes, we have to consider our families, kids, responsibilities – but we also are the ones who deal with the outcomes. It is okay. It doesn’t matter what others think, or want.
It is so, so important to CHOOSE to choose you. Read that again. Those who truly care for you won’t mind, and those who mind may truly care – but they don’t have to agree. Live your best life – it’s the only one you get!
Jessica…man oh man that inner dialogue can get us all…I have a few blogs and even some photos for that planned but I don’t think it had done spinning in my mind to share just yet. I have often said and agree with you, if you are tired in a drained way and someone has sucked the air out of the room, it’s time for some fresh air. I, like you, choose ME!! LYS and TY for sharing!
Sister. This. I wrote just yesterday morning in my “morning pages” about continuing to grow in the area of allowing grace for myself. Then at work yesterday, a discussion ensued with a co-worker about allowing some grace for herself. And here you are, saying the same thing. I learned and keep learning the words you shared, but not nearly as early as you are. Thanks for stepping up and putting it out there. Somebody needed to see this. Thanks for being brave….speaking of which, I need to get you that book, “Being Brave” by Brene’ Brown. Ready to hear more from you here. LYS
I love this, and I need this reminder frequently: CHOOSE to choose me. Thank you!
The OYOU book club recently completed the book “Untamed” by Glennon Doyle, this quote from that book (and the theme of the book) reminds me of this post:
“…[after] finally learning that pleasing the world is impossible, [you] become free to learn how to please yourself.”
Sounds like a book I need to find and read! Thank you for sharing!
“Choose to choose you” – YES.
Each human on this planet needs to do just that, then we could shed the junk that we allow to crowd our minds that do nothing to lift us. Indeed we are the ones who must with outcomes of decisions…That is a simple, yet incredibly powerful idea.
Thank you for the reminders, for the inspiration, and for sharing part of YOU!
Choosing “you” that’s a life’s lesson for sure! And a negative inner dialogue can break us, been running from that since I was a kid. Thank you for sharing and reminding us we are not alone in these feelings!